I'm BAAACK......well, until I forget my password again...so prolly Thursday....LOL. Amazing that after two years of non-use, all it took to convince Gmail/Blogger that I am the rightful owner of this blog was taking a guess at what my favourite flavour of ice cream was when I created the account....talk about high-tech..like living in freakin' Star Trek. ;-)

So eggnog season is upon us once again, and I am, unabashedly, chintzing out this year.....basically, if I haven't called to ask what you want for Christmas, you're not getting squat.....and if I called you out of a sense of duty, you're getting leftover chocolates from last year....

No, I am not Grinchesque...I prefer to look at it as sufficiently money-savvy to realize that the $15 I would have spent on someone out of guilt or pressure would be far better spent on a nice Shiraz for me; this way, at least one of us is happy and I will be too far gone to care that it's not them!

Time to go...must go write out the $200-and-something cheque for the first, yes you read that right...first installment for Marcus' Quebec trip in February....he's 12! Good Grief....
E

So it appears I have hit an all-new low......sitting at home on a Monday night listening to downloaded Meatloaf songs. Ironic, actually, since I just took ground beef out of the freezer to make for tomorrow as I was craving..you guessed it..meatloaf! I sense a theme...

Nonetheless, along with my newfound appreciation for balding rockers and greasy meat, I have clearly lost all shame, as I am freely admitting that I am enjoying this. I would do anything for love, but I won't do that........Like a bat out of hell I'll be gone when the morning comes.. Paradise by the dashboard light....

To paraphrase another character from my fleeting youth...good grief. (BTW, if you got that reference, accept it..you're getting OLD)

Only 28 years and 11 months until I am eligible to retire! Woohoo!(Well, on days like these you have to hold onto whatever you can!)

I have come to the realization that all these reality shows (America's got talent, American Idol, Canadian Idol, America's Best Dance Crew, America's Best Proctologist, whatever..you know what I"m talking about) are really only there to make the rest of us feel inadequate. It's like, "Look....if we search hard enough, we can find 10 minutes of talent in even the most mediocre of trailer-park folks...except you...you're still sitting on your couch". *Sigh*. Perhaps I should take up juggling, or sword-eating or something and get what I was promised by Andy Warhol............

Have a (mostly) painless week!

E

It seems to me, as a child, there was a show...not sure the name..two chicks and a dude with a guitar...aha! Sharon Lois & Bram! That's it! Anyhow, among singing about elephants on a wire or something, they had this song......"I am slowly going crazy...123456 switch!" Not entirely sure what the meaning of the %$#&ing song is, but I keep singing it in my head, but to no goddamn avail..it is still me going crazy (not so slowly)..when the hell does the switch kick in? Isn't it someone else's turn by now?

I dunno....something's gotta give. Between work and home and kids and home and kids (yes, they deserve repeating twice)...I could very well lose my mind....if I haven't already.

My idiot, er um, I mean my partner, advised me today (after a near aneurysm caused by a sink of overflowing dishes at 6pm as I arrived home following a trip to the grocery store, dollar store and liquor store... the latter, of course, necessitated by the hassle of the preceding two) with..... count them...TWO hungry kids in tow...that helping out around around the house (ie washing his own lunch tupperware) is something that he does "when I can.....but I'm tired".

Oh..is that right? How foolish of me! To think, for one second, that my full-time job plus all the requirements to maintain a home and children essentially by myself, in any way compared to his getting himself ready to go to work, well...I must have been delusional....of course it doesn't.

I have an idea.....from now on, I think I will feed the kids "when I can". I will purchase groceries, clothes, toiletries, "when I can". I will bathe the kids, wash their clothes, pack their lunches, help with homework "when I can". And when Children's Aid shows up at our door, my idiot can happily explain to them that we are a family that believes in doing things "when we can".

Have a happy week (when you can)!

K, I know it's been a while since I posted...maybe I just didn't really have a lot to say? Kidding, kidding..actually...wait...no, I really didn't have a lot to say. Unlike me, I suppose...no cat has ever had my tongue. Well, I am now gainfully employed and, true to union form, have come to the realization (after 4 months) that they don't pay me enough. Funny how that is; you get the job and think "this is great! I'll be rolling in $$" and that same $$ seems paltry after a couple of months of gritty, bloodshot eyes beening pried open far too early and driving unspeakable distances (think Scarborough) just to make a buck. Hmf. And the taxes, good god the taxes! I could support three African families (just b4 Brad & Angelina take off with their children) for months with what I pay in a week in taxes. What I don't pay in taxes I spend at Scarborough Town, so ultimately I wind up broke anyways! Oh well, there's always a tall glass of red. Cheers!
E

I am trying to stay awake for the day...why oh why do I do this to myself? I tried, unsuccessfully, to stay sober yesterday, at least until the guests arrived, I really did.....I'm not quite sure what happened, but judging by the mammoth wine spill on the porch, I'm guessing I wasn't in as good shape as I thought..........

Regardless, I am now here at my desk (not to be my desk much longer, tho) and feeling rather pleased with myself for remaining vertical this long.....I could use a nice big steak, mmmmm....

I think a patio would be a nice place to be right about now, frosty one in hand..hair of the dog that bit ya, isn't that what they say? I need to win the lottery, so life could be an endless string of beaches and patios................

E

Who will listen to me bitch? I think I have exhausted all possibilities...nobody but nobody cares to hear my unemployed ass complain anymore. I guess I don't blame them....I wouldn't listen to me anymore either. Why won't some great place give me a great job with great hours and great pay, in recognition of how great I am? Idiots, I tell you, the whole lot of them.

I am done at the godforsaken faculty of nursing by next Thursday!!! I didn't think I'd make it this far, at least not without at least one breakdown requiring hospitalization. Apparently the student society has arranged a get-together to celebrate at a certain latin club (ironically, a club I spent many wild and drunken nights at when I was far too young to drink). I may stop in for a quick cerveza but I am not going for dinner and dancing as not only do I dislike the majority of the sheep (and I mean no offense to any sheep by calling my cohorts that) but also...I don't totally trust myself not to get carried away at the prospect of being done, belt back a jug of sangria and wind up dancing on the bar with my skirt over my head, hollering "nurse this, ya bastards"......not quite the last impression I had in mind, even for the sheep.........

I have another interview on Tuesday, wish me luck!

*sigh*. I'm starting to lose it......again. I have lasted much further into this semester than any previous ones, mind you. At least there is progress. I have also come to realize that I absolutely cannot work in a hospital, at all, ever. Nope, an office job is the life for me.

The idiot teacher I have to suffer through for three hours each Monday is driving me nuts. This is the same moron that made us do cut-and-paste last year. And to think she has a PhD. Actually, perhaps the PhD is the causal agent. Regardless, I cannot stand this, er, woman (and I'm being generous with that label). Sometimes, I sit and class and imagine Godzilla scaling the building, smashing through the window and taking off with psycho-bitch in his sweaty, simean fist...ah, sweet satisfaction. Free at last, free at last, thank god almighty...well, you know where I'm going with this one.

Listening to my son in the shower belting out Gwen Stefani songs...I've heard worse on American Idol. Time to go check on dinner...more later.............

E

I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away........
Nelly Furtado

Well, okay, maybe not fly away but I'm free! Free of school and teachers showing interpretive dance videos and assinine papers and scrubs and neonatal death and all the things that nearly gave me an aneurism last semester! I am recovering from feeling like a shell of my former self...gotta love higher education. I don't have to go back until January 8th, but I have high hopes for the semester already. I am going back to CAMH, in a day job, with a clinical instuctor from last year that loved me. It doesn't even really matter what kind of cut-and-paste assignments they make me do in class (and they will), because I get to do Occupational Health and Infection Control in....wait for it.....BUSINESS CASUAL! YAY!

I, disorganized nut that I am, am ready for Christmas. I have all of my shopping done, most of my presents wrapped, and a (temporarily) stocked liquor cabinet...how long that lasts is anybody's guess, mind you. And you know, I'm not even really minding this not-so-white Christmas thing, although a light dusting on (only) the 25th would be acceptable, maybe even nice.

For the first time in history, I have no plans for New Year's Eve as yet. Not that bothered by it tho, which is strange. The thought that I might be growing up briefly entered my consciousness, but I was able to beat it back with a couple of strategically-ingested cocktails.

I got my car back from the body shop....damn it is hot! I can stand in my garage and check my makeup in the side of my car (which may or may not be a good thing!) Oh who cares, it's shiny and black and shiny and georgeous all over. After weeks of deliberation and a complete inability to view it as female, I have now officially christened it Baby. I would say it's male, but then it will start making whining noises, refuse to work in inclement weather (or for any old reason it chooses) and run off the road after it becomes distracted looking at pretty female cars. No, the safest bet is to let it remain asexual (or perhaps gender neutral is the PC term for it?)... that way I can tell it how much I love it when it's doing good yet still be free to curse at it with impunity and without remorse when it acts up (come to think of it, it's starting to sound more like a male again).Anyhow, off to continue wrapping....
Merry Christmas to all
And to all a good night......
E

Two more weeks! Two more weeks until Christmas break for me! Four more 12-hour shifts at the hospital, which,thanks to a most compassionate instructor usually wind up being only 9 or 10 hours (notice how I say only?- yikes I'm becoming one of them). I cannot work in a hospital...if, when I graduate, the only jobs available are working 12 hours on a hospital floor, I will resume my previous career as a bartender/waitress. The Lunacy continues at the faculty of nursing (I can't even bring myself to capitalize it anymore- I don't consider them worthy)...I endured 15 minutes of the advanced nursing theory/bullshit class on Monday...the topic? Palliative care as expressed through INTERPRETIVE DANCE. I sure hope the Provincial RN exams offer you the choice to dance in lieu of answering the questions. You know, people don't believe you when you tell them this crap, but really, you couldn't make this stuff up. Being there is like being the only sober one at a party where everyone else is drunk and high.....

My poor car.....last week, after having a near-out-of-body experience whilst trying to write a paper for the above-mentioned advanced BS class, I was in such a state I actually backed up and hit my wheel-well on my own garage. Unbelievable...my "education" causes me to be unsafe behind the wheel of a car! In any case, poor car needs the body work done sooner than later, although I'm kinda excited cuz I'm going to have it painted at the same time so it'll look really hot. Installed new speakers last weekend, after blowing not one but all of the factory ones. Turns out my newly-installed stereo puts out 5o watts a channel, and the old speakers were maximum input of 30watts......go Big or go home, I guess. Sounds great now, poor Phil tho, he nearly froze to death doing it while I stood beside him and tried to fake being helpful. Didn't work so well tho....the one helpful thing I did (bring him hot Ovaltine) was undone almost immediately after I accidentally kicked the mug down the driveway and out onto the road...I'm such a klutz.

On a more serious note, my mom's cat Toby, whom we found at the cottage 15 years ago, had to be put to sleep recently. He was old and diabetic, and it seemed the only humane thing to do....he's now partaking in the giant cat food bowl in the sky, and enjoying every minute of it, I'm sure. Kudos to you, Toby, for being such a great cat...we all miss ya.

Cheers
E

Car! Car, car ,car, car, car!!!!! I finally have a car of my own! Not a car when no one else needs it, not a car sometimes, not a car that I have to explain why I need it, just a car...my car. Yay! It's old, but it's hot! 92 Prelude, black on black, needs a paint job in the spring but drives great, accelerates nicely, handles beautifully, fits like a glove. Mind you, I think the back seat is only there so you can tell the insurance company it's not a 2-seater, but hey, kids are small..it'll do.

Like has been nuts lately.....I am hovering on the brink of sanity. I suddenly get Postcards From The Edge ......I guess that's me.....I guess this is the postcard LOL. School is making me nuts..the professor, upon whose shoulders rests the task of educating tomorrow's nurses, has this rather unsettling habit of suddenly, without warning or apparent reason, donning these blacker-than-black, Terminator-style sunglasses for exactly 2 minutes during our class. Then, as nonchalantly as she puts them on, she discreetly removes them and returns them to her purse. Go figure. I figure it's either a well-camouflaged psychotic break or the emergence of some alter-personality. This alter-ego apparently can't stand the class either, tho, as it seems to makes it's escape even quicker than I.

Went to Chinatown for lunch today. On the way back, I spied in a storefront this kinda funky-looking asian/geisha top with a single string in the back and a chinese collar..I figured it might pair with a skirt for a fun New Year's outfit, and at $4.99, the price was right. The saleslady, however, left something to be desired. She tried to sell me this little, mismatched purse to go with the top, which I repeatledly declined (in English, which was apparently was my first mistake). When I went to debit the top, I asked why the $4.99 top was costing $10.94. It was the bloody unwanted purse rearing it's ugly head again....when I tried to insist I didn't want it, the saleslady became irate and began yelling at me "okay you pay me cash now for the shirt", to which I was tempted to reply that I no longer wanted it at all. The look in her eye, however, caused to to fear that she might maim with a chopstick, hence I thought it wiser to pay her and get the hell out with my noodle intact. The irony of it is that when I got it home, I discovered the shirt doesn't fit right...figures. Dare I try to return it? Hmmmmmm. To be continued...............

How is it that 12 hours in bed can seem so short, yet 12 hours at work is so bloody long? Yesterday was my first experience working an unpaid 12-hour day at the hospital (and actually I kinda lie because we got to leave an hour early, so it was really 11). Not something I intend to repeat for any significant period of time. This just reinforces my belief that I can't sanely work in a hospital. Thank god for the breaks.....and for friends to spend the breaks with..it's the only thing that makes the day bearable.....

I recall working the occasional 12 hour shift as a bartender and/or waitress, and while it seemed long, I don't recall it being as bad as this. Then again, I was also getting paid well for it and had unimpeded access to alcohol........hmmmmmmmmm....

And the scrubs, good god the scrubs....as though stumbling around, sleep deprived carrying a bedpan weren't detrimental enough to one's sense of dignity, we must do so in what is unequivocally the most unattractive uniform ever. No wonder so many health care workers seek comfort in amphetamines.............

Still want a bike...need a bike...well, okay need a car and want a bike......the bruises are staring to heal, tho

Oh, speaking of the bruises.....yesterday morning we had this inservice(like a seminar) on domestic violence identification and prevention...as they were talking about clues that an injury is the result of violence, such as bruising along the underside of the forearm consistent with a defensive pose, I suddenly felt all these eyes on me and looked down at my own bruised and battered forearm flagrantly displayed in my short sleeves (damn scrubs again!)....arg...

Motorcycle course$350
Tuition $7000
Scrub Top $30
Having motorcycle injuries mistaken for domestic violence.........priceless

E

I did it!

I am now the proud holder of an M2 license! I feel as tho I was flung off the back of an 18 wheeler and subsequently hit by a gravel truck, but I passed! Bruised, sore and somewhat humbled by the entire experience, never let it be said I did it the easy, painless way.....turns out riding a bike is not as easy as it seems. God damn $&^%** clutch! I have never experienced such sheer frustration as I did trying to get the flippin thing going in 1st..well, except trying to get it going in 1st on a small hill...terrified of stalling (this particular bike had to be kick-started every time it stalled, which only adds to the humiliation when you do it three times in a row), I'm looking at the hill and thinking that it's going to need a fair bit of throttle to get up it and not roll backwards,so I twist the throttle, let off the back brake a bit, and somehow manage to completely pop the clutch, bike goes lurching forward, I freak and grab for whatever I can reach and manage to drop it between my legs, but only after letting it break a bunch of blood vessels and shear off a bunch of skin on my leg on it's way down. This wouldn't have been so bad, hey, I've got 2 legs..I can limp, right? Except that I managed to do in the other leg the day before when I lost control and dumped it..I now know what it feels like to hit the pavement....

So I passed the test, making only one mistake...apparently the instructors must have been rooting for me since two of them felt compelled to hug me when I passed.....sheesh..

I suppose my next venture should be to finally master driving standard........

E

I have a theory that sleep deprivation, if frequent or chronic enough, will lead even the more-or-less sane to border on psychosis...hmmmm...Gotta go to bed early tonite...right now my sanity is questionable at best, prolly better not to push it. Tossed and turned for most of last night, and just when I finally started to drift off, I was awoken by my (neutered!) cat attempting to bury his face into most inappropriate spots. Once I might have been willing to call a fluke, but he's a persistent little bastard....this doesn't bode well for my habit of sleeping in my birthday suit.

So I went to the ridiculous little meet-and-greet for first years at my school, loaded up with enough text books that their weight alone probably constituted a deadly weapon in most parts of the civilized world. At the mere mention of books for sale I was beseiged by a sea of eager-looking first-years, their little faces not yet showing the dejection and hopelessness that sets in after the Faculty of Nursing is through with you. One particularly ambitious one offered me $260 for a set of books that only cost me $300 to start with....ka-ching!!! Why, that must work out to..let's see..50 gin& tonics! Well, okay maybe 12 if you buy them in the club district....

The kids are going away for the weekend.....sadly, tho, this will not translate into long, leasurely sleeps for me as I have to be at the motorcycle training course by 8:15 at the latest ( a most ungodly hour). I suspect the training people are closet sadists......

E

Well, I am thoroughly exhausted.....

So I'm doing the motorcycle course this weekend....I can barely manage a 5-speed and it's supposed to rain on Saturday.... this ought to be entertaining (for somebody).

TGTF..thank god tomorrow's Friday....except that every day brings me one closer to having to go back to school on Monday...if anyone's having a root canal that day, I'd gladly trade. I suppose I'll go tomorrow to sell my old text books from last year..pass them on to some poor unsuspecting first-year that doesn't yet realize that none of them are necessary...that was an expensive lesson to learn.....

Time for a shower, and off to bed....

E

You know, I thought I was creating a username to post a comment on someone else's blog, only to discover that I was, in fact, creating this....hmmm....

Oh well, I recently read that when life gives you lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call a friend over. I'm not really sure how that fits in here, but what the hell, I thought I'd say it anyway.

I can't really see anyone ever reading this, so I don't really know why I'm still typing..especially considering that I will probably lose the address for this and never find it again myself, but whatever.....

Anyhow, off to try to navigate thru cyberspace to find the original blog that I was trying to post on.. (betcha anything when I get there I won't remember the user info I just created for myself..LOL)

E